Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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