Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
