I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
