I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize