If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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