dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
