On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
