so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
