I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
