hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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