yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Quick, to the slutcave!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
