Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
