K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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