You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
