he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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