You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
