if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
