are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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