she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
