I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
is wine microwaveable?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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