I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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