Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She bit a glass in half.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done