Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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