Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
