Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I need a beard to bite.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
