he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
