i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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