I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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