Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
