is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
