Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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