if you like me you must not know who I am
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize