Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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