so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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