She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize