Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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