Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
