Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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