i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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