just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
