Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
