I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize