what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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