It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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