the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
