i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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