I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she told me i tasted like america
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
