I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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