Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
