Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
