i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
