3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
