oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
handjob tips. give me some.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
