THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
