yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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