He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
