oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
