im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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