I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
