evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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