How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
